Lessons from Marriage: Communication

Two weeks until Valentines!  And two weeks until this series on marriage ends.  Any new series you are interested in reading about??  Drop me an email or comment.

#5 Communication.

Dennis and I discovered the power of communication in a very interesting way when we first got married.  Thanks to our bed for this lesson!

In the mornings the bed has to be made up…right?  When we first got married Dennis would make the bed every morning.  He has admitted that this wasn’t something he really wanted to do, but felt that it would be a good habit to start in our new marriage, and he also hoped it would please me.

So, every morning he made the bed…both sides, but on occasion, I would get to the chore first and make-up my side. I was trying to help, but he misconstrued my intentions.

One day he voiced his complaint, “Why is it that whenever you make the bed you only make your side?” From his perspective, when I made my side (but not his) I was only doing half the chore and slacking on the other half, but from my perspective I was helping him with half of his chore.

It’s a small difference, but for him it meant that I was trying to make his job easier instead of trying to leave him extra work. If we hadn’t had a conversation about this simple thing, he may have continued to feel bitter about the extra work he was doing; instead we were able to resolve it within a couple weeks of our wedding.

Small differences like this are all over the place in marriage. We have found it important to communicate about the small things that may cause problems over time, even when it means opening up a topic that may cause conflict.

Check out others in the series:
  1. Pay Attention to Wise Advice
  2. Pre-planning Grace
  3. Great Expectations
  4. Family Matters
  5. Communication
  6. Finding a New Normal
  7. Date Night

 

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Comments

  1. You’re right, ours was the toilet paper roll! This wasn’t so much about talking as it was “listening”. I never thought about the little roll running out… but any time it ran out during her tenure on the throne she would think I had purposely left her stranded there. Can’t have the queen stranded on her throne can we? Well… maybe I did like coming to the rescue just a little bit 🙂 One day I came to my senses and said, what better thing to do while I’m sitting here whiling away time than to look to the right and say…hmmm gettin low on paper, then change it. She in exchange made sure we had a basket close by to secret away extra rolls within reach. Such a little issue but such a big difference

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