In the mornings the bed has to be made up…right? When we first got married Dennis would make the bed every morning. He has admitted that this wasn’t something he really wanted to do, but felt that it would be a good habit to start in our new marriage, and he also hoped it would please me.
So, every morning he made the bed…both sides, but on occasion, I would get to the chore first and make-up my side. I was trying to help, but he misconstrued my intentions.
One day he voiced his complaint, “Why is it that whenever you make the bed you only make your side?” From his perspective, when I made my side (but not his) I was only doing half the chore and slacking on the other half, but from my perspective I was helping him with half of his chore.
It’s a small difference, but for him it meant that I was trying to make his job easier instead of trying to leave him extra work. If we hadn’t had a conversation about this simple thing, he may have continued to feel bitter about the extra work he was doing; instead we were able to resolve it within a couple weeks of our wedding.
Small differences like this are all over the place in marriage. We have found it important to communicate about the small things that may cause problems over time, even when it means opening up a topic that may cause conflict.
- Pay Attention to Wise Advice
- Pre-planning Grace
- Great Expectations
- Family Matters
- Finding a New Normal
- Date Night