Lessons From Marriage: Wise Words

We’ve been enjoying the holidays the last two weeks.  Now I have to get back to work and updating the blog.  There should be some new recipes coming soon!  But today we are doing something a little different:Recently someone asked Dennis and I about our marriage and what advice we would give someone getting married.  I thought a lot about this question and all the books we read when we were engaged.  I thought I would share some of the things we have learned.  I am not claiming to be an expert or know anything really, I just thought I would share some of the things we have learned.  I am going to be posting these “lessons” on Thursday mornings…so just skip viewing the blog on Thursday if this doesn’t interest you.

Lesson Number 1:  Pay Attention to Wise Advice
We learned so much from family, friends and books.  Here are a few great books that were recommended to us during pre-marital counseling:
This book discusses how affairs happen in a marriage.  It was interesting to read how innocent friendships and conversations led people down the road to adultery and discontentment with their spouse.  I will say this book isn’t perfect, so some advice can be left in the book, but it does provide a greater understanding of how easily affairs can happen and I think awareness is half the battle.
Guess what?  When you get married you aren’t perfect and neither is your spouse.  This book discusses sin and how the gospel can transform your marriage.
I remember when we got married the pastor told Dennis:  When you get to heaven God is going to ask you “Is your wife more holy today then the day you married her?”  For some reason that has stuck with me.  Our job in marriage is to help our spouse to become more godly and vice versa (Proverbs 27:17).  This isn’t done in a nagging way or hateful way, but with gentleness.  I already know that Dennis can answer “yes” to that question one day.  Just being around him has made me so aware of certain sin in my own life and given me the desire to change.
This book is about viewing marriage as more than just two people saying “I Do” and instead viewing marriage as a demonstration of the gospel to the world around us.  This is something Den and I hope happens in our marriage, that people will look at us and wonder what it is that makes us different and see God.
By the way, Noel Piper (John Piper’s wife) has some amazing books!  You should read them too.
This book was recommended by our pastor for Dennis and the book below for me, so I have little to contribute for this one.
Feminine Appeal
This book was recommended especially for the wife to read.  It discusses the virtues from Titus 2.
These books were so helpful to us and I still think back on many of the things I read in these books.  Learning from the experiences of others can save you from so much pain and enrich the life you already have immensely.



I read this book recently and it was fabulous.  It answers a lot of sex questions Christians are shy about asking.  Really good!  It also elaborates on developing a friendship with your spouse, which I think is great advice.
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  1. I’ve read His Needs and Her Needs years ago and it was really good. I haven’t read any of the others so I may have to add that to my reading list! Thanks for the suggestions!

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